Reviews
Hotline to Heaven rolls with laughter, ripples with righteous indignation, rings with charm, ropes the imagination, and begs forgiveness.
Violet is so pleased to see the handsome man she met that afternoon appear in the line to the shelter. She watches beneath her lashes as he moves closer to the door. When the shelter is filled and she sees him being turned away she jumps up and pleads with Captain Wilshire to make room for the man. After all, he donated the last of his money to the cause.
Ed is so charming and helpful. When he feels called to do God's work, Violet is more
than willing to contribute her savings and leave the smothering protection of Captain Wilshire and her duties for the Salvation Army to work with him to spread God's word.
Ed "Boilerroom" Tanner is having a bit of trouble getting into the Christmas spirit.
His luck stayed with him on a quick trip to Vegas after his last scam, until he fell for a
scheme the bimbo Scrappie introduced him to and was left with nothing but his plane ticket to Houston and some pocket change. So what was he doing tossing some of the last of that pocket change into the Salvation Army Santa's pot?
An angel. The woman enthusiastically shaking the tambourine next to Santa had to be
an angel. Even in the worn clothing of the Salvation Army uniform she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Those shining blue eyes radiate innocence and purity and piety. "Boilerroom" is getting ideas.
She is the answer to filling his pockets again, the answer to his prayers. Who wouldn't want to be in "God's Fan Club," especially with the angelic Miss Violet Smith praying for answers to their prayers? The responses are immediate and plentiful. This is the big one for Tanner. But will it be worth it when he falls from his angel's grace?
Bain's characters march across the pages to his fast paced drumbeat to conquer and charm, despite their very human faults and foibles. Hotline to Heaven is a story peppered with the special wit and humor author Darrell Bain fans have come to expect, and spiced with the unexpected that is sure to have new readers joining the fan club.
Reviewed by Charlene Austin © Sept. 2004 for Writers and Readers Network
Darrell Bain pushes the envelope of plausibility in this lighthearted, entertaining tale of a con artist and the woman who steals his heart. HOTLINE TO HEAVEN is the story of a con artist who falls victim to his own weaknesses in this humorous tale of love and duplicity.
Ed Tanner .....drops a quarter into the Salvation Army’s coffers and meets the beautiful, extremely innocent Violet. Soon he finds his way to the Salvation Army’s shelter, and into the heart of Violet.
Despite other’s protests, Violet invests her life savings in Ed’s new scheme. While she believes he’s sincere, Ed has a brilliant idea to line his pockets yet again. He starts God’s Fan Club with Violet at the forefront, looking like an angel. He isn’t, however, prepared for his heart to be swept away by the innocent.
Ed introduces Violet to the simple things of life such as pretty clothes, jewelry and alcohol. Soon she finds herself swept away on the publicity and excitement of her new life, completely unaware that the man she loves is planning to leave her high and dry.
While Violet’s innocence is almost unbelievable, the sharp contrast she provides to the Ed’s world provides the reader with sparkling entertainment. The book is a quick read, with a wonderfully deft voice that leaves the reader quite satisfied by the end. Darrell Bain’s cast of characters and fun plot will have the reader looking for more of his work!
Reviewed by Cindy Penn, Senior Editor of Word Weaving.
A tale of a lovable rogue. Ed Tanner meets Violet Smith, a Salvation Army sister and the sparks begin to fly. Not only is he attracted to this angel but a scam forms in his mind. He cons the beautiful but utterly innocent Violet into helping him build a fan club for God. The biggest scam this side of hell. Only problem is, Ed falls in love with Violet as he turns her from the cloistered world where she lives into his world of never knowing where the next dollar comes from. A delightful and funny tale of corruption, fraud and deceit mixed in with love, innocence and faith. Bain has written an excellent book with real-to-life characters and twists and turns that keep you wanting to read until you reach the satisfying end.
Reviewed by Iris Leach for Sharpwriter.com.
Ed Tanner was a scam expert. After Ed and his attorney partners, Al and Ruthie, closed up their last phone scam, Ed went to Las Vegas and lost it all. It was December and when he came upon a Santa ringing a bell for the Salvation Army, he dropped in one of his last quarters. That was when he met Violet Smith, who was Santa's helper.
Violet had lived a very sheltered life. She lived at the same Salvation Army in which she worked. Instant attraction sparked between the two. Knowing he had only the clothes on his back, Violet offered Ed rest at the shelter. While there, he came up with the idea of his next scam, God's Fan Club.
Violet used her small life savings when Ed received his calling from God for them to begin a club in His name. Elijah Wilshire, Captain Mission Director, tried to talk Violet out of it, but she believed Ed really did have a calling. The club was an over night success! Money poured in! But Ed knew soon that he, Al, and Ruthie would have to divide the money and run. (A good scam never lasted long.) The problem was that Ed had fallen in love with Violet.
Violet really was as innocent as she sounded! It was hard for me to swallow just how gullible she was made out to be! However, the plot was great and the story flowed very well. On a personal note: I wish it had ended differently. BUT that is only MY opinion. The ending it has is good and I still have the satisfaction that I love to have when I end a great novel. I consider this a good read and intend to keep it for future rereading! --
Reviewed by Detra Fitch for Huntressreviews.com.
Ed Tanner, aka "Boilerroom", is between scams. He’s a good con artist, good enough that he usually has time between jobs to enjoy the fruits of other people’s labors. Unfortunately, he has a weakness for women, and the redhead with whom he chose to celebrate his latest success ran off with his take. He needs an idea for another scam fast, and more immediately, he needs dinner.
He takes advantage of the hospitality of the local Salvation Army shelter and meets Violet Smith, a wide-eyed innocent straight out of a girl’s boarding school who is now under the sheltered protection of the Army deacon, a family friend. Violet has a pure faith in God, the face of an angel and the body of Lileth. Ed knows she is the key to his next scam as surely as surely as Jesus knew Judas would sell him out.
Making up a story mostly based on truth, that he has put his trust and bank account in the hands of the wrong woman, Ed manages to get a temporary job helping out in the shelter. It is when he is playing Santa Claus, helping ring the bell with Sister Violet, that it comes to him. God’s Fan Club, the perfect scam. People join the club for a nominal fee to have their letters answered by God through the closest thing to God on earth, Violet Smith.
Ed knows the public will accept anything if it is delivered through a physically perfect package, a package for which he himself has a dangerous appreciation. He knows abandoning Violet when the scam is up will be the hardest thing he’s ever done. He’s fallen for her as easily as any mark he’s ever hustled.
Darrell Bain, a humor writer whose first book focused on he and his wife’s adventures while operating a Christmas tree farm (Life On Santa Claus Lane), wrote Hotline To Heaven in response to his mother’s complaint of "You never write romance!"
While he makes a commendable attempt to please his mother, this is definitely more of a humor piece than a romance. His tongue-in-cheek approach will be appreciated more by the male than the female reader. I enjoyed its incorrigible hero, the wide-eyed, luscious Violet and the suspense of seeing how it would play out for them in the end. Can he win the girl, save the scam and come out on top? Which leopard will change its spots in the end?
Reviewed by Joey Hill for Stateport Pilot News Southport, NC.
What happens when you cross the poster child for Scams-R-Us with Snow White? Well, Darrell Bain gives his readers a perfect example in his book HOTLINE TO HEAVEN. Ed Tanner is down on his luck. He's narrowly escaped criminal prosecution for his last scam bilking people from their hard earned money. And to top it all off, poetic justice has played her hand when a Las Vegas bimbo bilks him of his last dollars. He's now wandering the streets, looking for a free place to lay his head for the night.
Sister Violet Smith is a bell ringer for the Salvation Army. She's as pure as the driven snow and to Ed Tanner, must be the last virgin on the face of the earth. But her angelic face and glowing purity pierce his heart. He decides to stay at the Salvation Army and even tricks them into letting him stay a few days in exchange for dishwashing in order that he can get to know Violet Smith.
Violet has led a tragic life. She was raised by missionaries and schooled in all girls' schools. Her parents were tragically killed the year before. As they left all their worldly possessions to the Salvation Army, Violet suddenly became an orphan and penniless. The Salvation Army takes her as their employee in exchange for working for them. Violet has never been around men and had no idea how to handle herself with such a sinful prospect. Violet had saved all her earnings since the Salvation Army had paid all her living expenses.
It doesn't take long for Ed to convince Violet that he has a calling and she's included in that calling. He's to start God's Fan Club. And she's to be a spokesperson for this fan club. However, he didn't expect to fall in love with her! Throughout the startup of this club and the ensuing events, Mr. Bain gives his readers a glimpse into human greed, innocence turned wanton and jealousy at those that have. Ed shows his creativeness in thinking up new scams and in keeping one step ahead of the law.
Violet, although innocent, learns the joys of life, how to be a woman and stumbles on to how to perpetuate her own scams.
His style of writing includes lots of dialogue and a quick pace to the story. I thoroughly enjoyed this story and laughed at times so hard the family wondered what in the world I was crying over and hated to see the end. Hopefully Mr. Bain will continue with other misadventures of Ed and Violet. This book is my ticket into the Darrell Bain fan club!
Reviewed by Jan Crow for Sime~Gen Reviews.
Violet Smith is a complete innocent, brought up by a strict family and
attending an all girl's school, she sees the good in everyone and after
being orphaned, works for the local Salvation Army in Houston. She is just
the front Ed Tanner needs for his latest scam.
Ed Tanner has been a scam artist for as long as he can remember. He's a
natural extracting money from gullible people, keeping everything just
this side of legal. When he meets Violet, down on his luck after being
scammed himself, the greatest idea forms in his mind.
No-one would suspect Violet of being anything other than she appears, a
young woman with the face and the heart of an angel. Telling her has been
called by God, Ed reveals what his plan is. A fan club for God!
At first, Violet is a little sceptical, but soon comes to agree that God
must have planned for them to meet and she agrees to use her meagre life
savings to start the fan club. Violet will be God's "spokesperson",
praying over the letters received and replying. Of course, only those who
send in their "membership dues" will get an answer.
It takes off quicker than either of them could have imagined but then
complications ensue, for nowhere in his plans had Ed ever thought he would
fall in love.
...it was an enjoyable book and quite different from
any I've read before. You're left on tenterhooks the whole time wondering
if Violet will ever figure out that Ed is scamming all these people and
wonder what she will do if she ever does find out. Will she stick by him
or regret that she ever met the con-man?
You'll have to read the book to find out.
Reviewed by Annette Gisby, author of Drowning Rapunzel and Shadows of the
Rose.

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